I like sex parties, but only if they’re queer and kinky. I’m less fussy about biscuits.

I can’t think of a bad biscuit. Some biscuits are better than others, of course. I enjoy everyday biscuits, your basic garibaldis, custard creams, and bourbons. I won’t even turn my nose up at a digestive on occasion, as long as there’s a nice cup of tea to dunk it in and a good book.

At sex parties it’s different. It’s very important to have really good biscuits, and here’s why.

Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash


Sex can be exquisite and opulent. It can be a gooey, delicious melt in the mouth experience. When I see the tea table at a sex party, I…

Ten days ago, my eyes opened for the first time.

I woke in a hospital bed. I had surgery to bring my heart closer to the surface. Some of us call it top surgery, some call it a bilateral mastectomy. The surgeon removed a layer of insulation, a piece of my armour that I never asked to put on. I came around, raw and bleeding and new. I awoke to find I was in a world where I have everything I’ve ever wanted.

I had a life before this. I remember it. There was a fierce urgency in the weeks before I went into hospital, a need to finish all…

Photo by Ed van duijn on Unsplash

Last October there was fear in our house.

We were facing a winter of lockdown with a house full of kids, and we were scared. Afraid for our children, afraid for our mental health. Afraid that after a tough year we were going into a tougher winter under resourced and depleted.

I bought a hundred spring flowering bulbs, then a hundred more. Not knowing this, she also brought a box full home. Over a few weeks, around four hundred bulbs went into our soil last autumn.

Each one was a gift and a promise and a hope. We will get through this. Spring will come. These little dry…

Our local heron is a poser, but in the secret half-dawn light I felt I’d caught her in a private moment.

Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash

The pair of wagtails arrived later, almost in full daylight, speaking to one another with tweets and twitches.

These creatures who shared a moment with me while I drank my morning tea became the centre of the experience. Often I see rabbits or squirrels, occasionally deer or a fox. A part of me always hopes that I’ll see something exciting, something unusual. There’s a hierarchy of rarity. There’s delight and surprise when I hear a rustle or a splash. But that’s not why I make my tea in a flask in the dark and leave the house.

This is a…

Dan Thomas

Dan Thomas is a queer non binary trans man in the UK. He is a parent, neuroqueer and a writer.

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